Post by Marpleg A-boynt on Sept 4, 2007 4:10:46 GMT -5
These are from a book by Hunter Davies (our British people will know him, I suspect 
) ...
My two faves are at the top
On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.
In a London cemetery
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas
Office upstairs
The Tired Woman's Epitaph
Here lies a poor woman who was always tired;
She lived ina house where help was not hired.
Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going
Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing:
But everything there is exact to my wishes;
For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes...
Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never -
I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever.
In a Welland, Ontario cemetery
Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvellous thing for this vicinity.
) ...My two faves are at the top
On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts
Under the sod and under the trees
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod:
Pease shelled out and went to God.
In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery
Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.
On the grave of Ezekial Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia
Here lies
Ezekial Aikle
Age 102
The Good
Die Young.
In a London cemetery
Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767
In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery
Here lies
Johnny Yeast
Pardon me
For not rising.
Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania cemetery
Here lies the body
of Jonathan Blake
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.
In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery
Here lays Butch,
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger,
But slow on the draw.
A lawyer's epitaph in England
Sir John Strange
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.
Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont
I was somebody.
Who, is no business
Of yours.
Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's. He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona
Here lies Lester Moore
Four slugs from a .44
No Les No More.
In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England
On the 22nd of June
Jonathan Fiddle -
Went out of tune.
Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont
Here lies the body of our Anna
Done to death by a banana
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low
But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England
Gone away
Owin' more
Than he could pay.
Dr. Fred Roberts, Brookland, Arkansas
Office upstairs
The Tired Woman's Epitaph
Here lies a poor woman who was always tired;
She lived ina house where help was not hired.
Her last words on earth were: "Dear friends, I am going
Where washing ain't done, nor sweeping, no sewing:
But everything there is exact to my wishes;
For where they don't eat there's no washing of dishes...
Don't mourn for me now; don't mourn for me never -
I'm going to do nothing for ever and ever.
In a Welland, Ontario cemetery
Here lies all that remains of Charlotte,
Born a virgin, died a harlot.
For sixteen years she kept her virginity,
A marvellous thing for this vicinity.
